This of course over a year ago. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. They need to hold people more accountable to commitment. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. It's not the crime that counts, it's the time. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. But for me, it was. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. You want me to go on a comma and replace her. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! And I have never cheated myself. You drank and you kissed. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. Well, that's all fairly laudible but I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. Biological ones. = I'VE ONLY GOT HIS WORD FOR IT. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. Tell your husband. No, you don't. Thank you soulmate,but I'm getting over those issues. Better safe than sorry. This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it's not. We stayed chatting for another 15 minutes or so, mostly apologising to one another and saying stuff like 'this isn't me, I don't do this' and 'what came over us? I wouldn't want him around the person. It is the gateway to another feeling. Three women and one guy went back. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. I was devastated. One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. For me i felt guilty for enjoying it so much. 2. Because just as everyone else is saying, if you did the RIGHT thing, you shouldn't feel guilty. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. Again I could go on with this subject,and I undoubtedly will. As one young man said " time heals" and he's so right. Yesterday night we went out to drink. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. 5. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. Don't have an account? "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" You're denying him that right and being selfish. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I say tell him. Okay. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? I practise what I preach, me. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. I kissed another man four years ago. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. He is my workmate also. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. Do you want to end you marriage? I kissed another man four years ago. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. True mistakes get owned and rectified. The fact he told you very soon after is good. Any help or advise would be much appreciated. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. If I some how knew which thread to follow to I'd go. female 15 votes, 25 comments. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. he said if i started making out with another girl, hed be into it, but if i started getting carried away and disappearing with Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. On which note - "Marriage is about trust not tryst": I like that saying. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. LOL After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. How is that beneficial to him? But please seperate the issues. I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. I mean that in a funny way. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Hi SoulMate! Other way around. One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. Except with other truth-seekers. ;-)). At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. reader, Angel-lee+, writes (25 October 2005): A It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. It was such a weird experience. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. If he is like me, its a choice. His imagination could go haywire over that one. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. I wouldn't want to hear about it if I were in his position. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. I don't know if he wants to still be friends with her on FB or not. 4 days ago. Please help me. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. Just my opinion. I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? I am NOT looking forward to spotting him in the corridor at workHOW EMBARRASSING!. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. WORK. Not just to you. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. I spent the next day in bed all day crying and it has to be one of the saddest days of my life. And the tricky piece de resistance I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. ;-)) You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. I was so drunk, I barely remember the kiss, but I know it happened. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Despite their passion during the kiss though, thestraight guys (quite predictably)all saythey still identified asstraight. I dont drink, but had i been drinking i would have chosen home is the best place to be vulnerable lol! You cheated. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! , By entering this site you declare I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. I'll see you over there. Login first Then (my name) I NEED SEX! But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. I'm so confused. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. But living a lie would be so much worse. focus on you and your DH. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. Lees theory has a big vulnerability. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. I dont believe in innocent kiss. Should find time to respond tomorrow. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. :(. Bad things happen.Yes.but wat i d recomnd u is NEVER EVER tell him ! I can't stop playing it over again and again. What you *can* have is the Biggest B*lls on the Block award. Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . I feel so bad since then. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. lover. ;-p Despite their passion during the kiss. Guess what his response was? With or without the same seniority. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. ;-). . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Alcohol does not change that fact. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. Well you need to figure that out and fast. What should I do. There's a difference between sex and kissing. Plus, I *was* moreover affronted, meaning the guy got off lightly, because [1] I hadn't even caught his eye, [2] my wedding band is very thick thus too noticeable even from a distance, meaning his chat-up attempt was both un-instigated and unwanted, so [3] what sort of person did he think I WAS, just from looking at me?! It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! There was a lot of biting and groping going on, because, you know, the guys were giving it their best shot. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn the following facts about guilt: What can you do to address unresolved guilt? The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. Yes it hurts.. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. What? That left just me, the man and another woman. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. You knowing you can trust your husband to do the right thing when faced with temptation is all it takes for him to remain blight-free when blight (whether or not wearing fishnets) threatens. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. Way to make someone who, already understands and feels terrible guilt for what they've done, feel chronically worse. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. But for me, it was. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. I love your stories, Foxie. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. We finally mended fences, but there still is a type of tension between us. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. What isn't, is For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. Anyway I'll get off this post now. You just never, ever know. ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. A For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. The way it happened-not so good! Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. I was drunk but that is no excuse. This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). So what do you think? But I can't leave my job. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. (Sorry you got cheated on. He has morals. They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' Confesing to your husband was risky. I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). Yup. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. Okay. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. This recently happened to me. He left and went to the lake. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. I waited for the right time ?? And he grabbed my waist!. I agree. He's a work colleague by the way, and we would get on well in work but have no contact outside of work). SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? That was crazy' and other awkward things. I'm not condoning what I've done, and it's a totally different set of circumstances, but I remember wishing I had never known about the stupid kiss, as it tainted things for a while afterward. Now is that thread on this site (people's problems)? I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. / Dyathinkhesaurus? If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay.
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i feel guilty for kissing another guy
